Friday, August 15, 2008

Diary of a Suicide Bomber

This is purely fictional - just an idea for a creative writing article. You will probably find it politically incorrect(not to mention naive) too.
Today is the day. The 15th of August. D-Day. Independence Day, too; which is precisely WHY it is D-Day. Big crowds will attract less attention when I detonate myself. Although, after the bombs at Surat and Bengaluru, Chennai's been put on high alert; I doubt there will be too many big crowds. There are always some naive and so-called "patriotic" fools, though, who will gather to scream "Hindustan Zindabad" while I ride up there on my bike and decapitate all of us. It is unfortunate that the bombs in Surat and Bengaluru have gone off right before I planned to make my debut in Chennai. Although, "debut" is a pretty ironic word, seeing as there will obviously not be any repeat performances.
I cannot lie; of course I am a little nervous. But I have waited (expected, rather) this day for so long, that I'm almost numb. I will burn my diary before I go, but I don't want to be forgotten; which is why I will detach this entry in hope that someone will find it.

I would like to start from the beginning. I will not disclose my name; reader. You will not be able to find out, either, because I have made sure that every record of my life is now nothing but a wisp of ash floating about in the universe somewhere. I am a social recluse; and no-one will be able to tell you my name. I am 23 years of age, but I have no family. I have neither married, nor sired any children. I was an only child, and my parents had big aspirations for me. I, of course, disappointed them by running away from home at the age of 13. Since then I have been on my own. Their deaths occurred when I was 15 and 18, respectively, and caused me some amount of relief, because I wanted to spend my days as anonymously as possible. I would be lying if I said I grieved after their deaths. I am queer in the sense that I am completely unemotional. I have never loved anyone in my life. I was educated till I ran away, so I can read and write. I read newspapers, and bettered my linguistic skills. I stole food (and was never caught), and hence, I survived.
At 16, I tried to join politics; but realised its futility; because the party I had my eye on was fraught with corruption. Do not think me evil; reader; just because I will shortly go on to kill myself and a whole lot of other people. Speaking of which, I will make myself clear right now: I do not work for any organization whatsoever. I perform this act because I want to make a difference. I want to make my voice heard. Given my beginnings, I have no other way to do so except a suicide bombing. Most people will probably dismiss me as a pathetic, psychotic youngster who had too much time on his hands. Maybe I am.
But, reader, know this. You, whoever you may turn out to be, are holding the fruit of two years of my careful planning. I, though, have not left this sheet in any place prominent (but, as you have seen, I have encased it in plastic), because it gives me a weird kind of exhilaration to know that the reason for the bomb in Chennai may not be found till maybe, two, three years after the incident. I hope people will not dismiss this bomb as the work of the Surat-Bengaluru bombers; because that would defeat my very purpose.
As they are bound to do in India, people will speculate about my religion. Hindus will brand me Muslim, and Muslim will swear I must have been Hindu. Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists and Christians will shake their heads and blame the deterioration of the country on the Hindu-Muslim rivalry. And therefore I will clear every one's doubts. I am a hundred percent agnostic. Not atheist, please note. After all, the presence or absence of a Higher Power is unverifiable; so why take a side? I will not disclose the religion I was born into, because there are enough religious controversies in this country of mine anyway.
Yes, I reiterate - this country of mine. I am very much a patriotic Indian, and love my country, very literally, to death. My suicide-bombing venture is only a manifestation of the love I feel for India - Bharat - Hindustan - my country. There are of course, flaws, but who doesn't have flaws? I only hope that my death and the deaths of those I cause will make atleast a tiny change for the better in India. May the relatives of the bereaved, and in general, all the people in Chennai, unite in their suffering. May they move on. May they forgive me. Reader, please offer them my condolences. I am so sorry for including their children, parents, siblings or friends, in my plans. But what is to be done, must be done. This is only for the good of the country.
Jai Hind.

Farewell, reader.
It is time.